I'm F.I.N.E.

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 If you are familiar with Louise Penny's Chief Inspector Armand Gamache books, you will understand the title, "I'm F.I.N.E.  If not, I will explain later.

 Today is Tuesday, February 2, 2021

  • It has been ten days since I deactivated my Facebook page.  It came down to self-care.
  • I have read 51 books since I started hunkering down in March due to the pandemic. I am half way through my 52nd book, The Long Call by Ann Cleves. 
  •  I am not an artist, but I have a garage art gallery consisting of 20 paintings, pretty much all mediocre.
  • Not sure what number of my life reinventions I am at this point.

  • I use to be addicted to cable news.  I am now clean and sober from hearing other people's opinions. I left CNN after the 2016 election and a year ago, I became more discerning about what I would watch on MSNBC  (no Chuck Todd, Andrea Mitchell, Katy Tur, Kasie Hunt, Chris Hayes but a smidgen of Rachel Maddow).  

  • SNL stopped being funny when it hit too near the truth.
  • I look like a stuffed sausage from all the weight I have gained.  I started walking, but...it has been rainy, cold, the sun is too bright, foxes have been sighted in the area...  
  •  I have lost almost a year of my life and I'm pissed.  Considering that I have seen more yesterdays than I will see tomorrows, I have every right to be angry. 
  • I am exhausted from dissecting my life every night as I toss and  turn with anxiety.  Did I do anything right over the last seven decades?
  • One thing that will never change is my support for Hillary Clinton.  I screamed, cried and raged when the 2016 election was stolen from her.  That being said I did not become party to sedition and insurrection after she lost.  I went to the peaceful Women's March in January 2017, but even that became painful when I learned who the organizers were and how they hijacked the march.
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 Random Thoughts and Observations
 
Are Trumpers still considered conservative?  Definition of conservative by Merriam-Webster:  "...2a : tending or disposed to maintain existing views, conditions, or institutions, conservative 
policies  b : marked by moderation or caution a conservative estimate..."
 
So storming the Capitol in an attempted insurrection is a moderate policy that is viewed as conservative?  Were Republicans ever really conservative?
 
HILLARY WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING!
 
How many news organizations have asked Hillary supporters for their opinions...?  How many news organizations have asked Trump supporters?  Do you see where I'm going with this?  
 
I have Trumpers in my family.  I love them and will continue to love them, but I am ashamed and discouraged by their actions.  Not talking politics with them means I hold out no hope for them...  Anyone else who is a Trumper, I owe no allegiance and I will never forgive them for giving us the worst four years politically of my life. 

I also carry a huge amount of vitriol toward Bernie Sanders and his Bros. (i.e Susan Sarandon) who helped Trump become elected.  Donna Brazile, Tulsi Gabbard, Tom Perez are also in my reject pile.  In fact, I think the Democrats need to take a long hard look at who they promote and allow affiliation within the party.  I stopped donating to the DNC in 2016.  I donate directly to the candidate.
 
###
 
Henry David Thoreau said it best:  
   
“I should not talk so much about myself if there were anybody else whom I knew as well.” 
 
If I have learned anything living through this pandemic, it just may be that in general, I don't like many people.  I get annoyed very easily.  I enjoy my own company.  I miss seeing the special people in my life and I am angry that I have missed so much time with them.
 
So what does "I'm F.I.N.E." mean -- Fked Up, Insecure, Neurotic and Egocentric -- 

I read the entire series to date of Louise Penny's Armand Gamache books while in lock down.  They came highly recommended by my one of my doctors.  I am completely and totally infatuated with Chief Inspector Gamache and everyone in Three Pines even the eccentric poet, Ruth (might like her even more than the rest) whose poetry book has the title I'm F.I.N.E. 💓
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