Letter to a Founding Board Member
Dear Founding Board Member:
I knew from my very first board meeting that everyone walked on egg shells around you. And when you spoke it was not necessarily with authority, but with an unkind smug attitude. I think the word I'm looking for is strident. You could be making the most inane statement, but somehow it would sound challenging and strident. It was only after joining the board that I received comments from members of the community that you were one hell of a bitch. Even other board members conceded that you were impossible to work with, but I just kept going like the Energizer bunny. For six years, I kept "gunny sacking" all your pettiness; Silas Marner pecuniary, hatefulness and stonewalling of any new, modern ideas. Keep in mind that it wasn't just you that was the problem. You had your accomplices: the passive-aggressive board members who talked incessantly about you behind your back, but left it to me to confront you; the ones with personal agendas; the "do nothing", but I like being on the board types; your personal lackeys (whom I not so lovingly refer to as your "henchmen") who are the most disruptive and negative members that you supported because of their genuflecting to you the almighty Founder.
After six long, long years, I could not bear sitting through another meeting with the most dysfunctional group of characters I have ever known that were not in a tragedy performed on stage. So I left the building without looking back.
Two years later, the grapevine has it that you and your "henchmen" are on the attack again. It is well known that getting and keeping board members is still an on-going struggle; pleading for volunteers to serve as officers. And yet you still enjoy making life as miserable as possible for any new board member who has the misfortune to be cajoled into joining the board. Why? Why are you making it so difficult? Why aren't you mentoring the new and helping them; praising, supporting and thanking? Oh, yes you do thank and praise your "henchmen." And you will never admit that they, with their willful, negative and gossipy comments at the meetings are doing more harm than good...as long as they look at you with adoring eyes. I wish you could see yourself as others see you, a mean spirited bully.
Recently I came across an article by Joan Garry that I found very compelling; it spoke to me bringing back memories of my time serving on that a non-profit board with you. Apparently there is a "Founders Syndrome."
Quotes from 'Founder Syndrome' Can Take Down A Nonprofit..." by Joan Garry:
Advice for Founders:
My favorite quote from the article: "Imagine you were Barry (the new executive director). How long would you last? To preserve your own mental health...I'd give you 10 months or less."
I guess I am slow learner or just plain stubborn. I lasted six years.
After I left, I kept going over and over in my head, what could I have done differently? I still don't have any answers other than I trusted many people that I shouldn't have and tried too hard. I stood up to you and for that I am proud. I turned around a failing and flawed organization, but I could not battle the atmosphere of schadenfreude. For the life of me, I could not then nor now, understand board members who found joy in others failures especially if it hurt the organization. I cannot help but think you and others were actually envious of those with talent, drive and enthusiasm. It is more than a little sad and pathetic.
The organization thrives, not because of you, but in spite of you.
Your expiration date has been over for quite awhile. It is time to let go, move on, say goodbye and good luck with your blessings for the future. Hopefully, your posse will leave with you.
I knew from my very first board meeting that everyone walked on egg shells around you. And when you spoke it was not necessarily with authority, but with an unkind smug attitude. I think the word I'm looking for is strident. You could be making the most inane statement, but somehow it would sound challenging and strident. It was only after joining the board that I received comments from members of the community that you were one hell of a bitch. Even other board members conceded that you were impossible to work with, but I just kept going like the Energizer bunny. For six years, I kept "gunny sacking" all your pettiness; Silas Marner pecuniary, hatefulness and stonewalling of any new, modern ideas. Keep in mind that it wasn't just you that was the problem. You had your accomplices: the passive-aggressive board members who talked incessantly about you behind your back, but left it to me to confront you; the ones with personal agendas; the "do nothing", but I like being on the board types; your personal lackeys (whom I not so lovingly refer to as your "henchmen") who are the most disruptive and negative members that you supported because of their genuflecting to you the almighty Founder.
After six long, long years, I could not bear sitting through another meeting with the most dysfunctional group of characters I have ever known that were not in a tragedy performed on stage. So I left the building without looking back.
Two years later, the grapevine has it that you and your "henchmen" are on the attack again. It is well known that getting and keeping board members is still an on-going struggle; pleading for volunteers to serve as officers. And yet you still enjoy making life as miserable as possible for any new board member who has the misfortune to be cajoled into joining the board. Why? Why are you making it so difficult? Why aren't you mentoring the new and helping them; praising, supporting and thanking? Oh, yes you do thank and praise your "henchmen." And you will never admit that they, with their willful, negative and gossipy comments at the meetings are doing more harm than good...as long as they look at you with adoring eyes. I wish you could see yourself as others see you, a mean spirited bully.
Recently I came across an article by Joan Garry that I found very compelling; it spoke to me bringing back memories of my time serving on that a non-profit board with you. Apparently there is a "Founders Syndrome."
Quotes from 'Founder Syndrome' Can Take Down A Nonprofit..." by Joan Garry:
Advice for Founders:
- "But your job is not just to create. It's to build an organization to last, with or without you. Seeing the organization thrive after you step away is your single biggest achievement. It's your legacy."
- "Build your bench strength. Showcase talent. Bring in new board members."
- Remember the ultimate responsibility for the organization's health and sustainability belongs to you. Do not let this be trumped by any personal loyalty or fear that the organization may not survive her departure.
- Remember that founders have egos. Usually sizable ones.
- The founder must be respected and honored (even if she is driving you out of your mind.
- Do not put up with a board that allows the founder to undermine you. Draw clear lines in the sand with your board chair and begin to actively recruit new people who are not part of the founder's posse."
- "That's not how we do things."
- "This is how we do things here."
My favorite quote from the article: "Imagine you were Barry (the new executive director). How long would you last? To preserve your own mental health...I'd give you 10 months or less."
I guess I am slow learner or just plain stubborn. I lasted six years.
After I left, I kept going over and over in my head, what could I have done differently? I still don't have any answers other than I trusted many people that I shouldn't have and tried too hard. I stood up to you and for that I am proud. I turned around a failing and flawed organization, but I could not battle the atmosphere of schadenfreude. For the life of me, I could not then nor now, understand board members who found joy in others failures especially if it hurt the organization. I cannot help but think you and others were actually envious of those with talent, drive and enthusiasm. It is more than a little sad and pathetic.
The organization thrives, not because of you, but in spite of you.
Your expiration date has been over for quite awhile. It is time to let go, move on, say goodbye and good luck with your blessings for the future. Hopefully, your posse will leave with you.
***************************************************************************
The chance of the person who needs to read this is slim to none, but it has been cathartic for me and maybe someone will learn from reading this how to survive a founder and her posse. Good luck! 
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